Here are the major causes of depression and the best ways to handle them
There are four basic causes of negative emotions (depression). According to the Russian Philosopher Peter Ouspensky, in his book In Search of the Miraculous, these are: (1) justification; (2) identification; (3) inward considering; (4) blame. The biggest step to overcoming depression takes place when you systematically eliminate all four of these causes of negative emotions from your life.
Author’s note: This blog post is going to be divided into four different posts.
Before we look into how, let us first consider the causes.
Justification: is what you do when you rationalize or create a reason for your anger and unhappiness. The anger we often feel towards a person or situation is most often justified by what we have gone through in life. We feel entitled to our anger and unhappiness because certain things occurred to make us feel that way, especially since, in your estimation, you are such a good person.
Instead of justifying your anger and unhappiness, you should use your intelligence and creativity to let go of the situation. For example, if someone cuts you off in traffic, instead of getting angry, you say, “Well, I better be more careful next time”, or “He must be running late for an important appointment”
It is usually very hard not to justify one's actions because we often believe we are entitled to it but if we are more emphatic, I believe, we will be able to control our anger, because if we look at most of the situations that triggered anger in our lives, the opposition or the one you’re having a misunderstanding with often has his own solid reasons for his actions.
You are not the only one who is hurt or tired or going through something and since you both have good reasons to justify your anger, none of you would want to let go of the situation and that is how the fight often escalates.
But if you are wise enough to try to understand people, there will be no reason to justify your anger.
Instead of justifying that anger or unhappiness, just let it go. A psychiatrist with more than 25 years of experience working with unhappy people wrote that two of the most common words he heard in his practice were the words “if only”. It seemed that the most unhappy people are held back by some of the events that occurred in the past and that they cannot let go of.
They are still angry or depressed over something that someone did or did not do or say. They are angry with one or both of their parents, a sibling, a previous relationship or marriage, a boss or business relationship, a failed investment or financial mistake.
The fact is that our lives will be a continuous series of problems, difficulties, setbacks, and temporary failures. These unexpected and unwanted reversals and disappointments are a normal, natural, and unavoidable fact of growing up.
To change your thinking and change your life, you must make a decision to get over them and to get on with your life, no matter what happened. Until you do, you remain a slave to your past, which cannot be changed in any case. Make a decision today that, from now on, you are going to eliminate all the “if onlys” from your life.
The author and speaker Wayne Dyer says, “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood” He means that at any time you can reinterpret the unhappy events of your life in a positive way.
You can actually be grateful to people who hurt you in the past because they have made you so much stronger in the present. And in any case, it could not have happened otherwise.
Another thing is to stop blaming parents. Our parents are the products of how they were raised. Like all humans, they came to parenting with their problems and weaknesses, just as you have today.
Nonetheless, they did the best they could with what they had. They were the people they were, they could not have raised you any differently than they did. It is silly to continue to be unhappy about the things they did or the things they didn’t do that they were incapable of doing otherwise. Let it go and get on with your life.
The next blog post is on identification. Subscribe for updates